Last August, a Kunming expat known as “Bike Mike” set off with his girlfriend on a river rafting trip not far from the city. Sadly, in an accident they (and a local river guide) were killed. The news sent shock waves throughout the Kunming community, as Mike was well-loved and respected. He had first arrived in Yunnan Province in the early 1990s while cycling through Asia, and liked the city so much that he decided to stay.
Everyone knew Mike- he was tall, gaunt, and long-haired with a beard that would have impressed even ZZ Top. As a relatively recent arrival, I only had the chance to meet Mike a handful of times, but in each instance he was always gracious and kind. At his memorial service, I knew I was far from the only one to have had that impression of him. He was a wonderfully idiosyncratic character- a man “more comfortable in his own skin than anyone else I’ve met” in the words of a mutual friend. The longer I sat and listened to stories of Mike, the better I wished I had known him.
At my birthday party two weeks ago, a friend of mine brought along a DVD memorial that Mike’s brother had made in his memory. He lent it to a Chinese friend of mine, and she later showed it to me one evening.
The video contained several interviews with Mike’s best friends, an international collection of Kunmingites who had known him best. Rather than reconstruct the events of Mike’s life, or offer summary assessments of the man, those interviewed simply told “Mike stories”. There was the time he rode into the countryside and dined with a local peasant family, the tale of how he was so deliberate when playing Risk he would sometimes take nearly an hour to complete his turn, of how he would gather his friends from all walks of life together for dinner and drinks, and of how he loved long, philosophical arguments. I felt, upon finishing the video, that I had a clear picture of the man. I knew little of his background, of his family, of his occupation, even, but from listening to these stories I somehow “knew” him well.
In an expat community, one is immediately classified by age, nationality, and occupation. These, after all, are the first questions anyone asks you when you meet. What made Mike’s memorial video so moving, then, was its emphasis on his character, as related through anecdotes. It didn’t matter that he was in his 40s, was from the US, or that he sold hemp products to make a living. Somehow, hearing about his prowess in trivia competitions or his love of costume parties conveyed so much more, and made his memorial video so poignant.
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