Kudos
And while we're on the subject of foreigners, allow me to commend fellow laowai blogger Brendan O'Kane, an occasional commenter here whose eponymous blog has long been among my favorites. Brendan is the subject of a new China Daily article which discusses his remarkable experiences living in China.
While I was in Beijing last month I had the opportunity to meet Brendan, who came out with Chris and I for a few beers in a cafe in a somewhat random shopping complex (or perhaps it wasn't random, but everything in Beijing seems random to me). He's certainly too modest to say this himself, but Brendan is just as clever, witty, and humane as he appears on his blog. If ever publicity is richly deserved, it certainly is in his case.
Brendan doesn't update his English blog very often (ahem!) but those of you interested in fresh insights about learning the Chinese language would be wise to click through his archives. Actually, the China expat blogosphere is an incredibly rich resource for understanding Chinese in general. Between Brendan, John, Chris, Chinese Pod, and Lost Laowai (to name just a few) a discerning reader can amass a considerable amount of valuable material entirely for free.
(China Daily link via The Peking Duck)
Newbies
Kunming has an eclectic mix of foreigners. Because a lot of universities around the world have exchange programs with the city's schools, there are quite a few college-age students who stay here for one semester. And because the city is an extremely attractive place to live, many few foreigners decide to stay here indefinitely.
When I first came to Kunming a year ago, I imagined I would stay ten months, study Chinese, apply to graduate schools, and then leave. I immediately fell in with a group of mostly European students who also attended Yunnan University, and like me they all intended to leave after six months or one year. Unlike me, they mostly left.
Sometime last year I decided that I really enjoyed my life in Kunming, that two semesters probably wouldn't be enough to get my Chinese to the level I wanted it to reach, and that there was no reason I had to leave, really. So I decided to stay an extra year, study a third semester (which I'm doing right now albeit at a different school) and look for work while applying to schools this fall.
Most of the people I met my first semester here have gone, and so my social network has changed. Now, a good number of my friends are either confirmed Kunming lifers or else people who have no definite plans to leave. And now that I am entering my second year here, many of these long-term residents have really opened up and gotten to know me.
One of my friends here is now the dean of all foreigners in Kunming- he's been here almost continuously since 1997. He explained that the city has so many new residents (newbies) that he has stopped investing energy in getting to know them. He's certainly a nice guy and would never rudely shun someone just because they're new, but he mostly keeps his social network confined to those who seem to have settled in here. His rationale is that he got sick of making close friendships with people only to see them leave.
I personally don't agree with his point of view. After all, how can you really tell if someone's going to leave when they say they are? People change their minds all the time. And while losing friends to distance is definitely sad, making friends with people from around the world gives you an excuse to go visit them. With technology like e-mail, Facebook, and Skype, it is now easier than ever to keep in touch with people who live far away. My own method is to just be friendly and open up to people I like regardless of their personal situation. You never know what might happen.
And yet...and yet. Lately I've met a few Americans in their early 20s who are here in Kunming doing post-graduate work or research. These Americans enjoy living in Kunming, but haven't really invested anything in their life here. They travel often, talk excitedly about their future plans, and generally see their experience here as a mere stepping stone to bigger and better things. As someone who has a semblance of a normal life here without a fixed end-date, I find it more and more difficult relating to these people. This is despite the fact that I'm essentially in the exact same position; just a few years older and not as eager to leave.
This is not to mean that I will stay here forever, but just that the longer I spend here the more I resemble the very people I used to criticize for being closed off to newbies. Odd, huh?