Matt Schiavenza From the Dragon to the Apple- A Sinophile in New York

Dealing With the Landlady

Last week was one of those weeks in which everything seemed to come up at once. My Visa was due to expire, my rent was due to elapse, and I had to pay tuition for another semester at the language school. The first and third of these responsibilities were easy enough to handle, as the administration at my school tends to be very efficient. But dealing with the landlord proved to be something of a hassle.

In Kunming, unlike other parts of the world (and even other parts of China), most landlords request that tenants pay at least six months of a year's rent up front. Mine last year insisted that I pay for the whole year at once, something I agreed to grudgingly. This year, since I had taken care of the place and wanted to rent it again, I hoped I could persuade her to allow me to pay six months' rent out of convenience.

She said no, and when pressed admitted that she wanted to buy another house and so needed my money more quickly. Hardly a legitimate reason, but being disinclined to look for another apartment I agreed if she gave me sufficient time to withdraw rent money from the ATM.

See, in Kunming rent is payed in cash. And because I don't have a bank account in China, I'm only allowed to withdraw a certain amount of money within a 24 hour period with my foreign debit card. So it usually takes me about a week to get all the cash together, a process entailing stuffing money into my desk Depression-style and living off the skin of my bum for awhile.

Yesterday, the landlady came by with a consigliere, a rather unfortunate looking woman who spoke a little English and acted ostensibly as a translator. My roommate and I hired a Chinese friend of mine with the aim of using her negotiating skills to ensure we wouldn't get ripped off.

The negotiations begun- I made a final plea for a six-month payment that was shot down instantly. At first, they couldn't believe I didn't have the money on hand (do all Chinese people stuff money under their mattress or what?) but when I managed to inform them of my situation they agreed to meet me in two weeks' time for the payment. So far, so good.

Then, I mentioned two maintenance issues in the apartment: a broken toilet flush and a corroding front door. The landlady brusquely informed me these were my responsibilities because "you broke them". I countered that the toilet and door weren't of particular high quality and that these were routine issues under her purview. She again shook her head, and said no. What was in the house was my responsibility, not hers.

My Chinese friend then sprung into action. She told the landlady that I had dealt with and paid for previous maintenance issues during the past year without even contacting her (which is true though they were admittedly minor), and that should the landlady have the foresight to consider a new toilet and front door an investment, she could conceivably raise the rent next year for her next tenants. The landlady countered by saying that because she lives far away, she doesn't have enough time to swing by the apartment anytime anything went wrong. I was going to retort that if she didn't want to deal with coming over here, then why buy an apartment in this neighborhood? But I kept my mouth shut. Finally, my friend said that fixing the door and toilet wouldn't be expensive and could be handled almost immediately. The landlady agreed, though according to my friend (when speaking privately to me later) her friend urged her in Kunming dialect not to trust these foreigners and their turncoat Chinese friend.

My friend left, and the landlady and her hatchet woman came back to inform me a worker was on his way over to fix the toilet. He arrived, did the job, they paid him, and he left. While sitting waiting for him, my landlady's friend informed me in broken English that my friend wasn't welcome to negotiate with them anymore because "we don't like her". I nodded and smiled and bit my tongue. Of course they don't like her- without her they probably could have gotten their way with me. Finally, the door repair man turned up and fixed the door without much pomp and circumstance. He was paid and then departed with the landlady and her friend.

Dealing with a situation like this brings up an assortment of reactions common to any foreigner having to make big financial decisions in China. Part of us has a Platonic image of a landlady in mind, a sweet and understanding person who inquires how she can help and fixes all maintenance issues with a smile, and who wouldn't dream of raising the rent because we've been such helpful tenants. Hell, I suppose some people in China do have landladys like this, just not me.

In the end, you think pragmatically. Factoring in the cost and hassle of moving, not to mention the possibility that the next place we find could be significantly worse, it made sense to just deal with the devil we knew.

So I signed a form stipulating that the rent will remain the same and when I've collected the money, they will be paid and hopefully disappear for awhile. And before long I'm sure the whole experience will be safely out of my head.